Am I?

Here I am on Friday, September 2, 2011.  Ten, five, even two years ago, I would never guess I would be here - waiting to take a pregnancy test with my husband at my side to see if our second child is on the way.

I guess many of the emotions I am experiencing right now mirror the first time around - curiousity, hope, intrigue, excitement, fear, anxiousness, love, peace.  I know - that is a lot of conflicting emotions, but it seems to at least somewhat capture how I feel as I sit here.

My husband and I had said we would wait until tomorrow morning to take the test, but I am leaning toward testing this evening.  If it is negative, I can always test again tomorrow.  I just know it is going to be positive, though.  I can feel it in every part of me...well, mostly in my uterus, but you know what I mean.  I feel it in my heart, and have been for a couple of weeks now.

The most amazing this is that, about the time I started to think I might be pregnant, my adorable son - our first (and only so far) child - looked at me and started saying, "Baby!  Baby!"  I was holding him on a hip and I asked, "What baby?  Where is the baby?"  He was pointing down at his calf and I continued to ask as he continued to assert that there was a baby around.  He wriggled down off of my hip as I looked around for the picture he must be seeing.  He looked up at me, lifted my shirt away from my stomach, touched my stomach, and said assertively, "BABY!"  He has since done something similar several more times.  My husband and I are in awe of that.

Until next time, then.